stories unthought, unheard, untold
lives forgotten, remembered, unlived
sea storm in the bosom of a single tear,
a stifle that makes the heart wrench with fear
i do not miss you so much, how can i?
says the mother of an unborn child,
i did not know you so much, now, did i?
a part of me, you were, now gone,
now i am just me, all alone,
inside of me now a hollow resides
my dreams of you, are no more now mine,
the twinkle in my eyes has lost its shine
the cradle rocks in emptiness,
my heart now bores its heaviness
it bleeds of love i couldn't give,
of warmth and glory of motherhood
if only i could turn back time,
if only i could hold your hand
with your little fingers holding on to me,
and your gaze forever finding me
the void which is so deep, so dark,
how do i fill it, how do i find you back?
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7 comments:
Hi!
The wait, this once, of 14 days was worth it. What a poem! What empathy! And if am not reading too much into it, what symbolism!
TC.
Though, it's unusual to comment on one's blog description (an incoherent attempt...), I couldn't help but be impressed. Really funny!
Thanks Ketan for your comments on the poem and the blog :)
@ the poem, honestly speaking, i am not sure if i have been able to do any justice to the poem. In fact, sometimes(or rather, many a times) words indeed cannot equal/portray the true feelings and pain. Its like the language of words attempting a fine mockery...
Very rightly put again. How could words ever equal the feeling itself! And if the words would start equaling the pain, who except the most fervent verbal masochists would read them! May be that's why I've not written poetry in a long time. Don't know what trauma my poetry's caused to the readers! But your calling the attempt at description a mockery is way harsh. In mockery, there's intention to mock.
Poetry is as praiseworthy as close it takes one to the real emotion. In that sense your poem was as good as any could've been.
There's one more thing--an honest writer/poet gets used to their work, so they can't really appreciate the work, except for if it's read after a long time. For instance, you'd know where you'd tweaked a word to make it rhyme or "adjust" the length of the sentence. At least, I'd to do it to some extent. So, you can't perceive the magic that a reader can. In that sense, my poem 'One moment of clarity' is most spontaneous. If you don't have to tweak much and instead, write as words come to your mind, then you're a very gifted and/or liberated (not bothered by how the poem 'turns out' finally) poet. So, by the time I'd finish writing a poem, the magic of the original emotion would be lost in the effort of verbal jugglery. So, the poet should leave the assessment of quality of one's poems to the sincere reader :) Now, there's no way I could assure you of the sincerity of my comments; you'll just have to take my word for it :(
TC.
Hi!
Long time no see, no hear... I mean, no blog! Well, but I fully concede, when to bless your blog's patron(s) with a verbal treat is entirely your prerogative!
If you remember, we'd a small disagreement about pride and rudeness. That'd made me look up various sources on the net to make out the exact distinction between 'pride' and 'arrogance', as I myself wasn't sure about their exact meanings, sorcer and consequences; I just had a vague idea. So, I'd done a brief post titled, 'Pride, Arrogance, Rudeness, etc.' after framing more precise descriptions of what I mean by those terms when I use them. But I also greatly expanded the post to include some more related terms around 10 days back. Since, that discussion I had with you was the stimulus for development of that post, it'd be nice if you could go through it once.
http://ketanpanchal.blogspot.com/2009/04/pride-arrogance-rudeness-etc.html
I'd also written a few ultra-short stories (55-word fiction) that you might find interesting.
Hope you're doing well, and have a nice day!
As I returned to your blog, I took the opportunity to go through your poem, yet again. You'd be wrong if you feel it's unable to convey feelings, may be not as acutely as one who experienced it all, but it did.
It'd have been too personal to ask if the inspiration for this poem had anything to do with experience of someone you know, and so I didn't ask. And if that was indeed the case my sincere apologies as now reading my comments above, I realize, how my rant about all the technical aspects of writing and its self-analysis would've been very insensitive. You, of course needn't tell me, if this apology was warranted, and if it was, then if it's been accepted. Sorry again.
TC.
Hello Ketan,
Yes, its been a long time since i posted anything..have been caught up with a few things and was experiencing a creative block too :)
I did go through a few of your posts, though not all of them I shall do so and definitely let you know my thoughts..
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