Now and again.....

I sit on the park bench doing absolutely nothing. Just trying to be in the present moment, here, now. But i can feel the inner anguish, the eternal struggle to race ahead or to relive the past. Why is it so difficult to just be without having to do anything at all ? Fear of the future, the hauntings of the past, thoughts zip zapping to and fro, an eternal chaos...Intermittently the struggle to feel the placidness, a stillness in time, an absolute void. Longing for a serene moment and nothing else.......