if you were to be a book,
i would read you through and through,
you could be the start, the end,
and i the chapters filling through
if you were to be a cloud,
i would wait for you to pour,
you could be the summer shower,
and drench me in your downpour
if you were to be a song,
i would be your rhythmic tune,
you could be the words, the soul,
and i the gentle melody
if you were to be the night,
i would be the dawn, the dusk,
sunrise, sunset, with crimson hues,
would find me blending into you
if you were to be the wind,
i would be the blade of grass,
the world would see your gentle stride,
as with every touch you would make me sway
if you were to be a picture,
i would be the memory,
you could be the now, the then,
and i the arch, the binding link
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An incoherent attempt at transforming the mundane and muddled thoughts into something a little more confusing and utter nonsense. Ah ! never mind.
About Me
- Just Me
- Just Me :) Frankly speaking, i am not sure if i can actually sum up myself in 1200 words or so...I guess, i'd better leave that for now !!
6 comments:
Wow! That was nice!
Still I'd point out the parts I liked the best--the last three stanzas--they just kept on escalating in their beauty in conveying the idea of your 'completing' your beloved, and your beloved providing motion to your life.
But I also felt the earlier stanzas sounded like warm up before you got into your elements. :) Did you force yourself through in the earlier stanzas? :P
Anyway as usual, nice to see a post coming from you. :)
TC.
Hi Ketan,
Thanks again for your feedback... Honestly speaking, i am a little disappointed in myself as far as this poem is considered..Somehow it hasn't quite turned out as i wanted it to..But nevertheless, i shall revisit it someday and see if i can do justice to this piece of work.
Having said that, i do appreciate your comments. And to answer your question, ironically enough, the first few stanzas came in easily..Its the last few that i actually struggled with, in terms of finding the right words to put across the thought :)
-Meena
Hi Just me,
To be honest, the analogy about the book and the melody-sound-complementarity are oft-used. Incidentally, I only had used the song-melody analogy in my latest poem--'Duel' that you've read.
The analogy about cloud and you is quite original, but somehow too simplistic, or sounds too desperate, of course you might've wanted to convey exactly that.
But the latter 3 stanzas spoke of a more mature kind of love. Something reinforced with experience. And in that, the last stanza totally stood out from the rest--a very intricate analogy. Namely, how you're the connecting link between what your lover was before you met him and what he became after you 'touched' him.
Likewise, the blade and wind-analogy was also very endearing, as in, how each and everything your lover does has an implication for you.
See, I hope you understand that with poetry, each reader would've different interpretation, and some of them could turn out to be entirely different from what the poet would've ever meant! So maybe that's the reason for our almost diametrically opposite likes in your poetry.
Have you been extremely busy? 'cuz that shows in your response above--some small mistakes you'd have not made otherwise. ;) So, thanks for replying!
Also, do you write these poems as an emotional outlet or to cure yourself of crea-itch-vity? If it's the latter, may I point out that you've explored the theme of you and a lover too much? Okay, in your poems, sometimes you get the lover, sometimes, yo don't. But tell me, in matters of lovers, how many more possibilities really exist? ;) And maybe that's why you're finding it difficult to come up with newer analogies? I'd be glad to see something new-er coming from you. :)
And do you mind my addressing you as 'Meena' even on my blog? I've known this to be your purported name since the first day I landed on your blog (see, how I speak of the event not unlike landing on the Moon or some other planet ;) ). But since, you've maintained such a tight-lipped anonymity about yourself, I thought it best to address you as 'Just me', also partly because of what you did to that motorcycle-guy, even if only in his dreams (nightmare). :P
Hope you have great days ahead!
TC.
PS: This' just a perfunctory reminder--you can totally ignore if you find it irritating in the least. You've not yet read my post--'pride, arrogance, rudeness, etc.', which was inspired from my interaction with you.
Yes, completely agree to the fact that every reader has his/her own interpretation when it comes to poetry. And that essentially is the beauty of it. I guess, a poem is supposed to, or rather expected to build up, as the stanzas go by, starting off light and and gradually reaching the epitome. And that is probably what is missing in this piece..at least i get that feel..could be something else. I am yet to figure out.
As for being busy, well, yes and no. Yes for being caught up in the monotony of life and no for being lazy enough when not being busy ;-)
Writing quells my creative thirst and also balances my emotional quotient. So in a way, to answer your question, it is both. Coming to your point about the possibilities, the outcomes may not be anything other than the two you pointed out..However, my attempt is not to capture the outcome, it is the journey in between. However, i do see the point you have made here. The next few pieces i have tried to work on, are completely unlike the ones so far. I am not sure how those are going to turn out, but nevertheless, it will be a new road ventured.
'purported name'...seems interesting..but yes, you can definitely address me as "Meena'. There hasn't been any conscious effort from my end to feign anonymity as such..and if it has appeared so, i am quite surprised myself...
And i promise to visit your article and provide my feedback...:-)
Meena,
First, it feels nice to address you as that 'cuz it feels like addressing a real person and not just a set of words. :)
I just had a discussion with a fellow blogger (on my poem--'Duel') as to why I find ambiguity involved in any kind of writing frustrating especially, if the writer won't explain themselves. Of course, this poem to me was pretty clear. And also in the past, you've been gracious enough to clarify whenever I'd doubts with my interpretation.
And yes, except for the last two stanzas, this poem was below par with the quality of work I've come to expect from you (sorry if that sounds like nagging parent, teacher or boss ;) ). Reasons are of course for you to examine. :)
And I was joking when I talked of possibilities with lovers. I've done 'Duel', haven't I? :) And in fact there are more complex possibilities--ending up with lover and knowing, that you'd (wishfully) deluded yourself into believing him to possess certain qualities that he, of course, didn't possess; realizing certain quality on the basis of which you'd liked someone to be no more endearing to you; starting to like someone else; finding centering one's life about someone else totally pointless all of a sudden; getting plain bored :)
And I realize, my usage of 'purported name' was somewhat rash. Sorry about that.
But let me try to explain what all made me feel you as wanting anonymity:
1. Any 'average' reader wouldn't have known your name. I knew it only because I'd read all your posts, and somewhere in one of them you were addressed as Meena by one of your colleagues, presumably.
2. No mention of where you work, any concrete events of your childhood, or any posts dealing with real events in your life, or personal opinion on important political/social events in the society.
3. Likewise, no mention of your religious views, views on humanity, tangible aspirations/insecurities about life.
4. You write so well (yes, you do), and yet you don't have any followers who know you personally.
5. You seem to have never made any attempts to seek out fellow bloggers with like-minded interests.
But all these could also be because you're reticent and/or quite self-sufficient--maybe, not requiring to share what you feel and/or are actually afraid to do that. That's why somehow I've always been concerned something that I say shouldn't hurt you, or be too much in your 'personal' domain. But I can also assure, never have I indulged in flattery...
...Despite pointing out all those things, I also clarify that I perfectly understand, you don't have to or need to reveal anything more through your blog than what you feel is necessary or safe. And it's precisely because of above reasons, that I felt you desired a certain degree of anonymity, which I was trying to respect by not addressing you by your name.
And a very generalized disclaimer--even if my choice of words is inappropriate, it'd never be my intention to hurt you. The simple but quirky reason for that being--I don't know you enough to possibly want to do that. ;)
I might be finding data about yourself on your blog insufficient also because it's disproportionate to the degree I am curious. Don't ask me--why would I be curious. I just am! More likely so (of course!) about things/people/phenomena I find interesting. But again, my curiosity is my problem, and others don't have to humor it--is something I'm trying to teach myself!
And remember, what you call laziness is more stylishly called 'spending quality time with oneself'!
Looking forward to exploration of more themes by you.
Hope you didn't mind my rant.
TC.
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