Now and again.....

I sit on the park bench doing absolutely nothing. Just trying to be in the present moment, here, now. But i can feel the inner anguish, the eternal struggle to race ahead or to relive the past. Why is it so difficult to just be without having to do anything at all ? Fear of the future, the hauntings of the past, thoughts zip zapping to and fro, an eternal chaos...Intermittently the struggle to feel the placidness, a stillness in time, an absolute void. Longing for a serene moment and nothing else.......

And...

All shall be well,
And all shall be well,
And all manner of things shall be well..............

Under the weather !!

There are moments in your life when you feel completely bogged down..not by work or by stress or by the tough demands on you..but just like that...its as if you have been running for long and have drained yourself of all the energy and cant go on anymore...you feel exhausted..like a toy balloon which has been sucked out of all air...well almost...you feel the need, to just be..like wanting to do 'Nothing' for a while...just be...yesterday was one of my such days..and possibly today is a continuation...At times like these you feel the need for someone who can tell you that everything will be fine...to remind you that you are not what you feel now..you are what you were before you felt this 'nothingness'...someone to give you a little ray of hope that well, this will pass soon...and you will be back to your self again in no time...and sometimes you yourself need to be this ray of hope for yourself..its something like playing a dual role..like being there for yourself...it needs to be done..for you cannot expect someone else to be always there for you..isnt it ?

A change of times!!

The journey from the "chronos" moments to the serenity of "kairos" awaits beginning...Its just a matter of taking the first step towards the destination !

दौड़......

दुनिया की इस भीड़ में भी,
जाने कितनी तनहाई है
इन्सां तो नज़र आते हैँ पर,
लगते जैसे परछाई हैं

कोई आवाजें देता हे,
कोई कोमल मुस्काता हैँ
इस मन बहलाती कोशिश में,
जाने कितनी सच्चाई हैँ

हर कोई चलता जाता हैँ,
अपनी धुन, अपनी मस्ती में
जाने किस मंज़िल को पाना,
हर इक दिल की चाहत हैँ

YOU and I

Sometimes i feel i was so wrong,
In feeling that i did belong,
In these dark woods of blissful life..

I did believe in fairies then,
In flying horses and wishing wells,
and i thought they were ever as true,
As the sun shining in the sky so blue

Sometimes the sun shone truly bright,
And brought into my life, a ray of light,
Sometimes the darkest clouds dread near,
and made my heart go limp with fear

I thought of you in the wilderness,
You were that beat my heart would not miss,
Thinking of you made me want to live,
A best shot at life i did want to give..

In days that passed i have come to see,
that all that was just a fantasy,
You chose our path shud never meet,
your efforts at this though i tried to beat...

They say, you can never lose something which you never had at all,
But i guess i did lose you afterall....

मी.......

रंगात जीवनाच्या मिसळून वाहिले मी,
कळले मला न काही का धुंध जाहले मी

गंधात त्या फुलांच्या, स्पर्शात त्या कळ्यांच्या,
आकाश तारकांच्या संगतीत राहिले मी

ऐकून गूज गाणी, हळुवार हासले मी,
समजून शब्द सारे हरपून राहिले मी

स्मरुनी कधी तुला मी, रचिली नवी कहाणी,
विसरून भान सारे, जणू स्वप्न पाहिले मी

हस्ता कधीच रुसले, रुस्ता कधीच हसले,
ऊन पावसाचा खेळ पाहिला मी

डोळे भरून येता, मिटले हळूच डोळे,
भानावर येता कळले, आसवानी चिम्ब गेले भिजून मी.......

Soulful or tummyfull ;-)

" How good one feels when one is full - how satisfied with ourselves and with the world! People who have tried it, tell me that a clear conscience makes you very happy and contented; but a full stomach does the business quite as well, and is cheaper, and more easily obtained. One feels so forgiving and generous after a substantial and well-digested meal - so noble-minded, so kindly-hearted.

It is very strange, this domination of our intellect by our digestive organs. We cannot work, we cannot think, unless our stomach wills so. It dictates to us our emotions, our passions. After eggs and bacon, it says, "Work!" After beefsteak and porter, it says, "Sleep!" After a cup of tea (two spoonsful for each cup, and don't let it stand more than three minutes), it says to the brain, "Now, rise, and show your strength. Be eloquent, and deep, and tender; see, with a clear eye, into Nature and into life; spread your white wings of quivering thought, and soar, a god-like spirit, over the whirling world beneath you, up through long lanes of flaming stars to the gates of eternity!"

After hot muffins, it says, "Be dull and soulless, like a beast of the field - a brainless animal, with listless eye, unlit by any ray of fancy, or of hope, or fear, or love, or life." And after brandy, taken in sufficient quantity, it says, "Now, come, fool, grin and tumble, that your fellow-men may laugh - drivel in folly, and splutter in senseless sounds, and show what a helpless ninny is poor man whose wit and will are drowned, like kittens, side by side, in half an inch of alcohol."
We are but the veriest, sorriest slaves of our stomach. Reach not after morality and righteousness, my friends; watch vigilantly your stomach, and diet it with care and judgment. Then virtue and contentment will come and reign within your heart, unsought by any effort of your own; and you will be a good citizen, a loving husband, and a tender father - a noble, pious man. "

-Three men in a boat (Jerome K Jerome)

A writer's block !

For the last one month, there have been no posts. I have been experiencing what people term as a writer's block. Not exactly, that is. There have been thoughts zooming in and out of my head, yes they have. But then the only thing that has prevented them from being presented here, has been my utter laziness in giving them any form whatsoever. And now that a whole month has gone by without any constructive thinking for that matter, it has been decided (by me and only me, under no pressure from the world, that is) to resume my writing and put an end to the chaos within me, that seems to have found existence in the absence of a channeled outlet. So watch out world, here i come again !

Oblivion

as morning comes and the day begins,
i feel a certain emptiness
the moments pass, the hours unfold,
my heart, it feels a heaviness

the voices all around me fade,
drown me in my solitude,
the faces stare me in my eyes,
my gaze, it wanders past them too

my brain, it thinks, my hand, it works,
my feet, they walk, my eyes, they see,
oblivious to everything,
the chores get done, the day is gone

the night, it seeps in like a thief,
engulfs me in its deepest voids,
i hold its hands and like a child,
i close my eyes and fall away.....